Hash trash by Slug! SF Hash Trash Hash #1190, February 20, 2006 Captain Organ gets a year older! And it shows!! Captain Organ led the pack through the Mission and Portrero Hill districts on his live birthday run. However, the poor bugger is showing signs of his age and was caught by Who’s Your Daddy, who was rewarded for taking Captain O’s slow ass down with a handsome Hawaiian styled shirt, right out of Captain O’s closet!! Judging by the look on WYD’s face after sniffing it, it had at least been washed. While running through The Mission, Handjob 4 Humanity and Hose Blower found themselves being followed by four nine year old Hispanic lads. The kids had uncanny endurance and H4H and Hose Blower couldn’t seem to shake them. They came up with the brilliant idea of ducking into The Elixir and asked the bartender if there was a back door they could use (no). They waited until their little friends got sick of waiting before they made their escape. But for all their efforts they were still given a Pedophile Down Down for attempting to lure the little men to the keg. The trail took us to Captain Organ’s home for the beer check, where the keg awaited…and so did some handsome construction workers who were busy digging away in a big hole in the road right out front. They looked a little puzzled to see this outdoor party attended by shorts clad beer drinkers, but it didn‘t keep them from their hard work for long. Their will power was astounding as they declined several offers of beer from generous hashers. It was further put to the test as Stroke and Blow and Nutlicker asked the guys to come and join them, apparently because they seemed awfully good at ramming their tools into holes. Poor Captain Cooter took a spill at the keg and almost twisted her ankle, thanks to Captain Organ sneaking up and tripping her from behind….sounds like someone wants to be the ONLY Captain in the hash. After filling up with beer at the check, the pack returned to the start, a well lit parking lot just around the corner from Zeitgeist. The pack began the usual ritual of stuffing themselves with orange food snacks (many of which are surprisingly free of transfats!!) and slurping tasty brew. Captain Organ brought birthday cake, but no utensils….but judging from how quickly the cake disappeared and the contented looks (and frosting) on the faces of the pack I’d say nobody really cared. The well lit setting made early departures and late arrivals rather noticeable. The pack started yelling when someone was caught leaving early. Yours truly didn’t see who it was and when I asked Splat who it was he pointed at the now small figure and said “that guy”. Oh Shit, our jolly Hash Shit, made an obvious late entrance but without his plunger ….so he was made to go back to his car and get it. The down downs began. Hoseblower and Stinky Butt were called up to drink for an alcohol induced crime….beer spillage. However, Stinky Butt wasn’t around (maybe THAT’s who snuck off early!!!) so the obvious choice of Candy Ass drank for Stinky Butt. Ball Handler and Sniff My Box were overheard talking about taking a private stroll away from the pack, so they drank of being lesbians. Splat drank on behalf of Just Greg (then again, maybe THAT’s who left early!) with Jizzard. Apparently Just Greg has a 10 week old baby girl was overheard asking Jizzard for advice (?!). So, as they were standing there preparing to drink their beer, they gave each other a Brokeback Mountain inspired kiss for some reason. Upon hearing the crowd’s boisterous reaction Jizzard said “Hey!!! I haven’t been getting much lately!!” Muff Daddy drank for being overheard explaining what Red Wings were, I’ll spare those of you who missed it or still don’t know what they are. The crowd groaned when they heard the explanation and further groaned when they saw Muff Daddy pour his beer down his pants. Remember that shampoo, Body on Tap? It claimed that it had beer in it, which was known for giving hair body! So, I have to wonder if…forget it, I’ll stop there….I just grossed myself out. Titless drank for wasting his “vacation” from his motorcycle accident watching cooking shows on TV. Just Michelle drank for being an overachiever…..doing a Half Ironman, of course the crowd wanted to know which half!! Anyway, apparently along with doing some half of an Ironman, she is planning to do a 199 mile relay, some other run I didn’t hear and running for the Norwegian Bobsled team. Motormount seemed to have his balls in his mouth as he attempted to introduce visitors Ball Wrinkle from Ithaca and Condom Lina and Quarter Pounder from the DC hash. Motormount made newbie Just Jenny cum. Everyone sang a loud rendition of Happy Birthday Fuck You! to our hare and of course also sang about his shitty trail. Captain Organ was expressing concern that the hare for next week hadn’t shown up yet. Oh Shit, overhearing this said “Oh right, Raspukin can’t make it and wanted to know if he could pick the keg up from you later” to which Captain Organ gave his usual “He can suck my fucking ass!” The pack headed off to Zeitgeist for more beer and real food. Slug --------------------------------- Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.