SF Hash Trash
Hash #1210, June 19, 2006

Longest Hash of the Yearl!!

       The pack gathered at the China Beach parking lot. Wait, not quite true. The pack gathered at the intersection above the China Beach parking lot, exactly where the directions indicated. Oh sure, a few select veterans like Cumin Mutha knew instinctively that it would be the parking lot and not the intersection. But others were left wondering, or wandering, as Hand Job for Humanity escorted each one personally down to the parking lot. Asked about this mishap later, co-hare Cum Guzzling Cockaholic replied, well, he didn't actually reply. He didn't have to. He just gave a look that said, "If you think I have anything whatsoever to do with this, you are sadly mistaken." And so began the longest hash of the year, as the rest of the pack finally did gather at the China Beach parking lot for the start.

         The hares set a fine live trail through Land's End and Sea Cliff, and included a Turkey/Eagle split through the Richmond. *unning through the Land's End golf course seemed a little dangerous, because people were still golfing. Of course, it was made more dangerous as Straight to Hell offered $20 to any golfer who could pick off a hasher. Both trails climbed up 15^th Ave, through the Presidio trails, out onto Baker Beach and up the Sea Cliff steps for the beer check. Muff Snatcher and Just Sonal nearly caught the hares, and would have, were it not for the hares setting a world record in the 50 meter sand dash. I am not kidding. Sand was flying. Asked about it later, Guzzler did not reply. He just shot a look that said, "I thought I told you, if you think I had anything to do with this, you are sadly mistaken." I asked him if it was absolutely necessary that his looks keep saying that. To which he shot a look that said, "Yes, it is absolutely necessary." Then, I said, ok, well at least could your looks stop yelling at me.

         The beer check was next to a dumpster at the top of the steps in beautiful Sea Cliff, and Wet Nurse could not resist dumpster diving. People started to laugh. Until she pulled out an old Jag and drove off. The newbies marveled at the kid's mastery of the keg.

         The hares brought everyone down to the BBQ area of China Beach for weiners, burgers, the usual snack fare, and of course more beer. It was a little chilly, but no more so than most nights. And, crimes were minimal, as the pack was mesmerized by the sunset. That, and the weiners. And Whoracle was mesmerized by the foam on her beer, which looked more like a whipped cream sculpture, and even tried to get Voyeur to take a photo of it. To which Voyeur shot a look that said, "I defer to Guzzler's look." (and she in turn went over to Guzzler, whose look said, "I think he doesn't want to take a photo because there's no boobs in it."). But the whole hash itself was remarkable, and I believe Hand Job and Guzz have started what should become tradition for summer solstice, the longest hash of the year.

Muff Snatcher