“Monday is a Hashing Day….”
run 1226 October 2nd 2006
Aquatic Park - Glory Hole, Crabs and Candy Ass
Dear Fellow Hashers,
Hash started a little early for me on Monday! Shortly before I was due to leave, I dove at the computer for one last check of my email. Admittedly, I was still aglow from Friday night’s festivities…was it relief??? Was I in a time warp??? Was I still drunk???-hmmm…could have been all of the above since after the AGM the soiree continued at the ‘ol pad’ resulting in said email from the host which I opened on that dive mentioned earlier…
“There was a very drunk and somewhat
obnoxious guy left at the party who was falling over that no one seemed to know.
He was pawing at the women there and almost passed out on my couch but I put him on the sidewalk to take
a cab to the east bay…at which he called me stupid for thinking he would take a cab all the way to the east bay!!!
Weirdo in a hat…think his name may have been BEN…any idea who he was..is he a hasher???”
My response to the host, was an obvious DUH!! Nice one SPLAT!!
After absorbing that, I take off to pick up LANDING STRIP’S friend JUST MARNIE who just ranked 2nd in the TRI Nationals in Lake Tahoe. She runs out, feisty little thing that she was in a miniscule pink skirt, and I found myself suddenly with two cartoon dialogue boxes extending up from my head. One had a hasher and the other a hashette….Funnily enough this came into fruition a while later at Down Downs when MUFF DADDY came up to me tongue wagging (literally) and said “WOW…thanks for the new blood” and then emitted some kind of uncomprehensive gurgle which I take was some kind of male belch of approval…This was followed by a jab in my side from FUCK BUDDY with a slightly different tone in her voice citing, “Thanks for raising the expectation bar!!!”
So to all the hashers…I do aim to please J…and
To the hashettes….don’t worry…like Halle Berry, she probably has really brutal farts!!!
Ooooh..and we musn’t forget STRAIGHT TO HELL who sauntered up inquiring very innocently about her name…
“Just Marnie” I respond.
“Barney?” he asks.
An image of a very rotund purple dinosaur came to mind with THICK ANKLES, and I smugly smile and nod my head…
SO HOW DID THAT WORK FOR YA STH???
As for the r*n—after r*nning in London-FLAT and Amsterdam-SHORT AND FLAT…was it good to be home…NOT!!!
I now know why SFH3 is somewhat, sometimes, in the nicest possible way…completely ridiculed!
“Come r*n in San Francisco, break a sweat and get a F*ckn Charlie Horse at the same time!
What was with the hills??? I know GLORY HOLE was in the Navy and all…but dude—LET IT GO!!!
And Talking about Government Agencies what happened to Chestnut and Polk??? Good Beer Check spot !!??!!!
They should construct a Checkpoint Charlie with a sign stating:
“YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE REPUBLICAN SECTOR
NO LAUGHING, BEER, LOUD NOISES OR HASHERS”
Anyone want to join me in moving HOSEBLOWER’s Blue Angels party THERE on Saturday???!!???
STRAIGHT TO HELL, FUCK BUDDY AND HJ4H, our new RA’S for the year…did an impeccable job with down downs which included HJ4H turning into ‘baaa baaa baa’ black sheep…it’s ok..she forgot where she was…Guzz has been reminiscing of his college years…
The wiser ex-GM’s had to get up for a drink joined by our new CAP-I-TONS…HARD N LENGTHLY AND TITLESS..for being Stupid…uuuh…frankly…YU ALL IS PRETTY STUPID!!! (I can say that…I was up there too!!!)
9 ½ WANKS was dragged up for providing snacks that weren’t too fresh!!! Hey girl…if you keep things fresh, you may have someone petting the pussy in the bedroom, NOT the one in the living room!!!
And as for the HASH SHIT…you have to excuse me here..you know when you are totally munching on something and you can hear the crunching loud and clear and all peripheral noises kinda waft in and out depending on where in the ‘chew’ you are…Well, as my mouth proceeded to turn a ‘nuclear’ orange..I heard the hash shit being presented…and it went something like this…
“CRUNCH…CHNCH..CRU….
TASTY SNATCH…RAMS…RONGJON…HEAD…
[BUT] CRUNCH…CHR…
WANTS A BIG ONE THIS TIME….
LOST…CRUNCH…CHERRY…
SORE GROIN”
Uuuuh…TASTY SNATCH…you better get used to running with that hash shit…cuz methinks you may be holding onto it for a while…BUTT please…just r*n with it!!!!!! On that note, I will sign off quoting one of our most illustrious composers…(even though the chorus isn’t very gender neutral now is it??!)
“San Francisco Suck my Balls,
San Francisco Suck my balls,
San Francisco Suck my balls,
You can suck me off”
Sincerely,Your Virgin Scribe,
STROKE AND BLOW