CHECKMATE
R*N
# 1252 March 26 '07
Hares:
On all Fours and Cumming Mutha
Checkmate is a situation when one player is under attack and
there is no way to meet that threat; it is a check from which there is no
escape. Or rather in this case, there was no escape from the CHECKS!
ONALL FOURS was looking for CUMMING MUTHA in the morning to work on
trail and found him working away on his typewriter serious, somber and
forlorn. He was endlessly typing away
and as he rushed of to do is orangaPOOtang, she snuck a peak at his manuscript and found pages of…
“Rain, Rain go away,
all the wankers wanna play”.
“Rain Rain go away, all the wankers
drink all day”. “Rain, Rain go away, all
the wankers wanna play”
Luckily she didn’t find the 69 pages that followed which
read, “All work and no play makes norm a
dull boy.”
Suffice it to say, the power of the written word proved itself once again, and the skies cleared up leaving us standing at the Queen Wilhelmina Tulip garden waiting for our hares as they were hanging out, chatting with HANDPUMP and enjoying the view! AND it was a live trail. “Get going” yelled the pack, actually mainly GIZZARD who derided me for continuing to post his tonsil hockey pictures on random trashes since the Sno-Ball. I would have taken him seriously had I not overheard him doing chalk talk with the newbies.
“All right for all you gals, you want to stay on trail by looking for white arrows à or little piles of flour. When you see a circle with lines through it, this is called a check. This means you must CHECK to see where I am, and we get to make out!!!”
Well, all that tells me is that GIZZARD obviously had inside knowledge of the nature of the trail. Pack sets off and only after a couple of minutes comes to a check. The FRB’s and other wanna-be’s check out the territory and we are on our way. A gorgeous trail through GGP and surprisingly not as wet and muddy as expected, but you are not going to run too fast when you keep coming to, aah..what’s that? ANOTHER CHECK two minutes after the first.
The pack giggled to themselves, “I guess this is how live hares don’t get caught, funny guy.” I heard people saying until another few minutes goes by and hark!! Yet another check.
Well, pack pretty much stayed together until we got to the turkey/eagle split only about 4 checks further into the run. By this time, the pack went from, “smart hare” to “What the $#%@$%$#@???????” and by then end ignored those lovely little marked up circles and just ran back to the start as there was no beer check anyway so off to the KEG!!!!
Aside from the gorgeous views and trails in GGP we were serenaded with a bugle. A hashers visiting from Aussieland was waiting at the start bugle in hand. When asked his name, his response was TJ which we thought weird for a hasher, but then again CM is from there and he is weird so we let it go. TJ informed us that on his 100th hash he got a bugle and has to run with it at every hash now. Every time we found trail, instead of an On On, we got an anthem. Later on in the eve, when pulled up in circle, we found out his name was actually TONGUE JOB which made much more sense. I heard a Harriette behind me say, hmmmmm, he all of a sudden looks much more attractive!!!!
HJ4H started circle and there was much dishing going on up there as there was by the snacks. So I kept my ears on both.
I overheard JUST LINA or rather, BACK DOOR LOMBADA brag about being on manhunt.com our local gay match site. ORANGAPOONTANG responded, “Yah, and all the guys were wondering who the tall, hot blonde dude was!!” Guess he didn’t get any that night!!
Speaking of ORANGAPOONTANG,
who is getting much press, got a poke. UDDER MORON accidently kicked him in the
Jimmy. Well, to UDDER
In a quiet moment I heard WET NURSE squeal that they at least have to be 21, which brings us to 9 ½ WANKS. Our wanker admitted that she is disappointed as the hash has not been rich in fruit, that is, for her loins!!
She ended up going to a BARNEY show to manhunt and she was ended up nicknamed as Jail-bait Barney for the rest of the night.
Our revered RA HJ4H was confused as she ‘fessed up that the hash has provided her with her ‘extra-cirricular’ activities for the last ten years. Impressive!! Somehow, MUFF SNATCHER’s name was brought up as well with a suggested competition.
Hmm, I know who I am bettin on.
Our Hares responded to Shitty Trail by ending the evening with a joke in honor of TONGUE JOB’s presence.
Q: What’s the difference between a Bison and a
A: You can’t wash your dishes in a
UuuuuG…don’t worry…the trail was better than the
joke!!
On On
S & B