Run 1280 Mon Sept 10th

the Back to School girl's run. Hares, Slug, Men's WhoreHouse, Stroke and Blow

Howdy Everyone,

Straight to Hell (yeah, that bastard) told me at 9 this evening that I’d be the scribe tonight. Yippee. (Juevos, where were you????) So, here I am—your devoted scribe. Before I begin, I’d like to state that I have a few biases. Muff Daddy is absolutely the sweetest male hasher in SF and Hand Job for Humanity is the super friendliest female.

Okay. So where to begin? What a lovely crowd at St. Mary’s Square! Slug was there and was pretty tight lipped about the trail when I tried to get some info about it. Dang! But didn’t she look great in her pony tails and skirt?

Lot’s of people were having a difficult time making small talk before the start and I do think that asking people to arrive at 6:15 for a beerless post-7:00 start time is a bit much, but, who am I??? Splat, who was pretty much on his own for a while (said he was changing into his walking clothes (wtf?) but was endlessly fidgeting with a large vibrating flashlight), and Whorizon, who was trying to lobby the women to all run together, come to mind.

Even though I was informed by one of my fellow NVM’s that the trail started off downhill, I still managed to end up in the back of the pack. This, unfortunately, kept me uncomfortably close to that creepy guy dressed as the priest. Much as I tried to run faster, he kept right next to me. I think I should ask him to pace me for the CIM. I’m sure I could do a sub-4 if he were anywhere near me. But, I digress.

The trail. In a word, it truly sucked. I suppose it was easy enough to follow, but where was the challenge? I mean, really? Sure, we got to see lots of the financial district, Chinatown, bits of South of Market – but really. Oh, for me – going under the waterfall at Yerba Buena will be an inner strength moment (yeah, some of you just avoided it altogether (Dirty Man Fucker) but all in all… I can say that I’ve seen too many parking lots downtown sprinkled with enough flour—hares – please, enough parking lots!

So let’s jump to the down-downs. Unfortunately, Fucker took me aside while everyone else was getting called up for crimes (meaning, they got beer and I didn’t because the huge crowd emptied the keg very early in the evening). Fucker could have been the RA tonight, but instead, he gave me marathon training hints. Not sure why, but he said I should stop drinking at Thanksgiving. Whatever. I do remember that Gay Little Wizard (did he even run the trail?) and 9 1/2 Wanks were the first to be called up for some vibrating crime. If I knew I was going to be the scribe tonight, I‘d have tried to pay more attention. But now all I can do is summarize the RA's scribbles:

Orangaputang boasted, once again, of his humongous dick.

Believe it or not, this was the only thing legible from the notes. I can’t believe I’ve finished this trash without mentioning all the super sexy back-to-school hasherettes! I think it’s because I’m a teacher and so I didn’t really notice anything different. All in a day’s work, you know. But if I knew your names, believe me, I’d mention you all here. If you missed this hash, I feel truly sorry for you. There were tons of hot women in short skirts.

It seemed like everyone really liked the Irish Bank. Unfortunately, they didn’t offer teacher discounts, so the guys buying me drinks had to pay full price. Sorry. Other than that, the place was one of my favorites. Thanks for whoever chose it.

Yours,
Peekabooby