Nano-Porn
Trail
Old business: Yes, her name was Sarah Cunter, not Suzie. I suppose little ole me scared her away because she hasn’t been seen since that hash. Super Sorry! Um hm.
Yes, On all Fours had a birthday celebration with eggs on her head to celebrate her 29th year on 9/10/07. I truly feel bad for mis/under/completely/non-reporting these two events. Please, I want you to know that I sincerely appreciate all corrections any of my fellow hashers email me on these things I scribble while absolutely sober. I have a special folder for them and it’s not called “deleted items”, I swear.
New Business: See below.
Tonight was soooo much fun. Lots of super cool people were here. I started off running with Scary Parts, --oh, I know I have that name somehow wrong—her parts looked quite fine to me… She hasn’t been hashing with us in a while. I think it was HJ4H who shared with me her theory that the SF Hash is really Match.com – and people run with us, hook up with someone, then drop out when things get hot and heavy. I hope that doesn’t happen to Snowball 69 (?) and Nice Crack, because I’d really miss them, but anyway, I was too polite to ask Scary Parts if she had just recently dumped someone and therefore needed someone new, and that was why she was here after such a long long time away. Instead, I made sure she paid Muff Daddy so STH wouldn’t stress about the loser non-payers when he got back.
Before the mad dash to catch
the hares started, I remember F*ck Buddy running around trying to get people to move out of the way of
The trail was pretty good. Blow and Go and drats, I forget the name of that tall good looking guy– but he told me he only held the flour bags for BG and had nothing to do with the actual trail… were the hares. Man, it was soooooo much better than last week. We only ran up about 10 different flights of stairs, fell for only two or three backchecks and it was so short (what, only 5 miles?) and no one got lost. It was so short I had to run home just to get my usual Monday night workout. And was it well marked? You bet! Best Arrows Ever. Oh, and the views... spectacular.
At the beer check, which was in a very nice place, Orangaputang told us he had just inserted his diaphragm and then wouldn’t stop burping. I had to leave the lovely company of Doggie Style and Dr. K because of it. Oh well, one must flaunt what few talents one has, I suppose. And I mean that in a nice way. It sounds bitchy, I know, but that’s clearly Eat My Pussy’s domain, as he showed us all this evening while cutting in line several times – I mean, the nerve. Why does he feel such entitlement all of a sudden?
I made a lot of effort to learn Motor Mount’s name last week, but he didn’t really do anything this hash to report on, other than instructing us on the best way to use the spout of the keg. Again.
Now for the down-downs which take forever to get to. Why is that? The orange food is all gone, the keg is going to be gone any minute, and still the RA’s stand around doing nothing. This time at least we had a suitcase of porn to sort thru. 9 ½ Wanks found a copy of “Asian Pussy – 25 uses for a Vulva” to take home. (True, I think, there are 25) Banana in Public took home a copy of something about a gun and shooting it prematurely. Nano-Viagra, soon to be coming to a pharmacy near you. Oh Shit was who we had to thank for this bounty of hash treasure. Well, his dad, really. I wasn’t very shocked. I mean, the phrase “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” came to mind.
Pythagoras was the
first called up to the down-downs for being a heroic teacher in the midst of crazy Stephen King-reading young hoodlums
they have in the
At the hamburger place, lots of people ate stuff. Just Meg (the 23 year old, not Nappy’s Meg) learned about the pleasures of wearing moisture wicking thongs from someone nearly twice her age. And this is where I’m going to stop. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time, thanks to Doggie Style and Snowball and the guy to my left who told me his name, but unfortunately I wasn’t concentrating on trying to remember it then.
If you missed this hash, I feel truly sorry for you. Everyone seemed super happy and… there was porn a plenty for anyone who had a VCR. I hope these hares set many more trails in the future. Hopefully we’ll see you all in costume next week at Hashoween!
Yours,
Peekabooby
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