Grassy Ass and Cherry Poppins: A Love Story in Rhyme
There once was a hasher named Grassy,
Whose demeanor was churlish and sassy.
He came to Frisco
Asked to hare on the go
Said, “Let’s make this trail long and classy.”
And so on Cherry Poppins he’s callin’
To help send our hasher butts crawlin’.
By train toward Stern Grove
(or by car, if you drove)
Where there’s beer checks and booze (we’ll be fallin’).
The hare lies were truthful and honest
And they promised to run us the farthest.
Flat and short, they applied
Yet I’m certain they lied
Though I’d rather not play the alarmist.
With Camel Toe watching the clock
The hares sprinted on down the block,
And we followed in suit
As Crabs stopped to salute
A branch hitting him in the cock.
We ran with such vim and such vigor
On On with the promise of liquor
Tears of Seamen solved checks
Eagle muscles she’d flex
One could swear that the beer made her quicker.
Over hills we followed the pack
Towards Portola, could we be heading back?
Yet above us we heard
An encouraging word:
“There’s booze, we’re cutting you slack!”
Peppermint Schnapps and Sangria too,
Have a shot, have a drink, stay a few
The eagles were gone
As we Turkeys moved on
Down the trail and in search of some brew.
Yet a reservoir now slowed our progress
(No Shit helped, but now I digress)
As we searched high and low
Just Brent Fox lead the show
Near the beer which we all would possess.
Can’t Rush Anal and dear Tasty Bacon
In the kitchen they both had been makin’
Some pasta and bread
And some shots they’d been fed,
‘Twas the soberness those two had been fakin’.
But the beer, oh the beer! It was sour.
Shaft and Massive, they whined by the hour
“T’isn’t Jasper,” they cried.
“Damn you Hand Pump, you lied!”
And their faces were sad, dumb and dour.
We gave our Miss Facebook a down-down
For behavior that truly was frowned on
As she drank down her beer
Round the circle you’d hear
Of a hasher we truly relied on.
And the hash got a piece with good timing
As the RAs were done with their jibing.
Now get on with your time
And I’ll go along mine
Screw you all, I’m tired of rhyming.