In darkness my eyes did alight
On the strangest Hash Pub Crawl sight
ABBAH had kissed
But Douchicorn had missed
So Cockamole went by tandem that night.
There once was a hare named Hand Pump
Who took trail by a treacherous dump
With Hoseblower and Ultrahead
Through muck they had led
A pack who, to a man, were all chumps.
As we watched with horror brave Shaft,
Who we always knew was this daft
Frogger’s his game
But his knees will grow lame.
Dodging cars is a young man’s craft.
Just Melissa won’t go very far,
With Just Koda running into a car.
The pack was amused,
The hound was contused.
But he still found his way to the bar.
Masterbaster looked such a fright,
After Allahu Aqbark dragged him all night,
Into the mud
Before having a spud
On All Fours could but laugh at the sight.
If the virgin Roman Showers had brought,
Could have just one more shot,
He’d see Good Shit drink down
The beer poured on his crown,
And he’d never return to this spot.
Our visitor that night was Hat Trick
Who wouldn’t show us his dick
But the joke was on him
Though the light was quite dim
We judged size by the bulge of his prick.
Heracknophobia lined up with beer
Salty Nuts and Sir Splooge Bob quite near
They all had to explain
Why they came back in the rain
The pack found their words were quite queer.*
(*Not that there’s anything wrong with that)
I met a half goat and half man,
Rounding the corner of the van,
Brown Eye wanted to know
Which half was below.
Away in the darkness, Meh ran.
There resides in a country called Panama
A man in a state of nirvana
Diving all night
Banana’s in sight
Delighting all the Spanish grandmamas.