‘I’m dreaming of a hash Christmas,’

Says Tricrapylete voice pitched low.

Where the sidewalks glisten

And two virgins listen

To Wee Wee hold circle next to Cole.

‘I’m dreaming of a hash Christmas’

Cries Millimeter Peter as he hares.

With two drink checks nearing

The rain is clearing,

And Hand Pump is dashing up the stairs.

‘I’m dreaming of a hash Christmas,’

Pepe toasts to Mary Tyler Whore,

With a cozy barroom,

John Handcock will assume

That Gobble My Ass’ll have one more.

‘I’m dreaming of a hash Christmas,’

Do Her Well beckons for some cash,

With Shits Fucks Leaves in town

And The Sadiator ready to get down,

Worst Bottom Ever takes off in a dash.

‘I’m dreaming of a hash Christmas,’

Just Doesn’t Get It gives a cheer,

‘May you find your friends gathered near,

And may all your Christmases have beer.’