Chicken Bone Her stood in front of the crowd, waiting for silence to fall as the lights dimmed. Mary Tyler Whore came in just as the doors were closing, while Cum Test Dummy waved CPA over to her aisle. Good Shit guffawed in the silence until Cuming Mutha shushed him.

 

 

 

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the night's feature performance," Chicken Bone Her bowed out of the way as a chorus line strode forth onto the stage. Just Doesn't Get It quivered his lip, while Circle Jerk stroked his bristles carefully. Bierectional, Tuna on Top, and Wee Wee stood proudly in fluorescent plumage.

 

 

 

Douchicorn strode forth through the line, singing proudly:

 

 

 

I'm upper, upper class hash society
God's gift to barbershop notoriety
And I always fill my bristles
My girth is never small
All the social trashes say I've got the biggest 'stache of all

 

I've got big 'stache
I've got big 'stache
It's such a big 'stache
Twitching big'stache
And he's got big 'stache,
And she's got big 'stache,
But we've got the biggest 'staches of all!

 

 

 

Big Cock Chains cartwheeled through the masses, while Gingervitis made Eat My Pussy and Got Wood carry him through as if on an invisible sedan chair. Minor 69er took a picture perfect selfie with Cosmopolitits in the background, while Sir Menage A Lot flew overhead blasting rainbow colored jet streams into the night sky.

 

 

 

It was then that Cuming Mutha stepped up to the plate, wiggling his eyebrows at On All Fours.

 

 

 

And my 'stache is always bouncing
My Blossom*'s always full
And every time I stroke and stroke again
If you give it a nice twist
The ends will go no higher
Everybody says I've got a big 'stache of fire!

 

I've got big 'stache
I've got big 'stache
And it's such a big 'stache
Twitching big'stache
And he's got big 'stache,
And she's got big 'stache,
But we've got the biggest 'staches of all!

 

 

 

The background scenery dropped away so a vision of downtown San Francisco bathed in the setting sun filled the view. Jizzard shot off in applause, while Dick Ass Mother Fucker and Deadbeat gave catcalls to the chorus line, which was high-kicking its way across the stage. Who's Your Daddy slunk in from backstage, while Do Her Well was drawing a mustache on Muff Daddy, who had fallen asleep. Mammaries went home as soon as she saw there was an act III.

 

 

 

Vagina Dentata then stepped up to the forefront, Just Get It Over With watching attentively.

 

 

 

Some 'staches are groomed for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're groomed for pleasure,
They're the 'staches I like best.
And my tips are always bouncing,
To the left and to the right.
It's my belief that my big 'stache should be groomed every night.

 

I've got big 'stache
I've got big 'stache
And it's such a big 'stache
Twitching big'stache
And he's got big 'stache,
And she's got big 'stache,
But we've got the biggest 'staches of all!

 

 

 

The curtain fell, and Blackout and Screaming Orgasm burst out in synchronized applause. Motormount nudged his virgin, who was staring at the scene with great uncertainty before beginning to clap slowly. One Night Only simply nodded. Dick Simmons turned off the camera, not noticing that the lens cap had remained on throughout the performance. The Perfect Woman grabbed another beer from Hand Pump and started making his way to the bar, Sleazy following after.

 

 

 

"That was the best performance art by the San Francisco Hash House Harriers I'd ever seen!" proclaimed I'd Do Er.

 

 

 

"That was the only performance art by SFH3 that you've ever seen," Orieanal Express retorted.

 

 

 

"It's all downhill from here," added Purple Pussy Eater.

 

 

 

"That's what she said," One and Done chimed in. "But she was the hare, and it was an utter fucking lie."

 

 

 

"It's On All Fours' birthday," Cuming Mutha announced proudly.

 

 

 

Fix Her Up Her glanced at Muppet Dick. "Maybe we should help her make a few more memories."

 

 

 

"Or lose them," Muppet Dick agreed, and together the last of the crowd trooped off into the night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Cuming Mutha's mustache is named Blossom.