With Summer in January temporarily on hold the hashers and harriets gathered in foggy Huntington Park, across the street from Grace Cathedral. The virgins were adorned with brand new SFH3-inscribed reflective vests, stolen by Just John-Henry from his old job: being Good Shit Lollicock’s butt boy at court imposed roadside cleanup. Hand Pump announced that now that he’s as fast as the FRBs he’s keeping all of the chalk and laying all of the pack marks himself. Chalk talk was given and the pack took off cautiously not knowing what to expect from Dick Simmons’s and Roman Shower’s virgin lay. Afraid of what would happen if they bent over too many times in the tenderloin, the hares decided to lay down few arrows, but made sure they were very very large. Dick Simmons, having showered, changed, and gotten a perm after dead laying the trail, tried to win his own hash, claiming that he was sweeping from the front.
Trail went up and down like My Little Porno on the job. Seeing a girl in a reflective vest miss a turn, the ever galant Weiner I Am chased down what he thought was a virgin gone astray, only to find out that it was just a random exerciser who doesn’t like getting hit by cars. He is now awaiting his bail hearing.
Misunderstanding that “racist hash” means that we are full of fast r*nners, The Hares dressed up as 19th century chinese railroad workers at the beer check, held in the heart of chinatown at Portsmouth Square. On All Fours, upset that the dicks in the emailed pics weren’t hard, led a gaggle of harriets lobbing firecrackers at Broken Boner. Returning to the start for circle, the pack was greeted by My Uncle’s Girlfriend and Cockagami in black tie as they had just returned from drinking $20 martini’s at Top of the Mark.
Wee Wee Wee All The Way Home and Broken Boner brought props to circle in the form of Ice Blocks andthe Black Dildo Wand. Over the course of circle The Hares, Let’s Get Fistical, Cockagami, Cherry Poppins, Just Ron, Bitch’s Bitch’s Bastard, and Chickless Boner among others got to ice their nuts. Several ambulances had to be called to scene to revive those who were paralyzed with shock after catching a glimpse of Chickless Boner’s chilly willy.
Just Tiffany explained how she had punched Masterbaster in the face because she had been unsatisfied with his performance and was named Sister Fister.
Ska-Skank Redemption, the newly crowned GM of Fully Mooned H3 got her own limerick:
There once was a Skank from Orlando
She used to be a guy named Fernando
Her boobies she'd show
and kisses she'd blow
but she'd only fuck guys going commando.