Sing That Hash Song, Baby

(To the tune of Don't You Want Me Baby)

***

I was working as an RA in Precita Park

When I saw you

MUG and Cumdog set a trail

‘Round Bernal Heights.

Hand Pump led me through

Abbah and Stinky Floss

Are on their knees

Cake was just so easy to do

Don’t forget to put the flour on their heads—

Shit, we’re drinking too.

Cock. Cockagami.

Just Enoch’s got his homework 

and his fake ID.

Cock. Cockagami.

Just Bryan’s Resting Slut Face

Is a turn on for me.

With her virgins at her side

Just Kaia’s lost her mind

She probably won’t remember

Just like in Pra-ague.

Sing that hash song baby,

Drink that down down dooooown.

Sing that hash song baby,

Drink that down down dooooown.

We got back to the van to find it locked

What could we do?

Wee Wee and Menage found a way inside

Both obscured from view

The van started rocking back and forth

As if on cue

When you’re looking for a threesome in the back of a van

Just Doesn’t Get It’ll do.

Cock. Cockagami.

El Rio has a cover and I have no cash.

Cock. Cockagami.

Perfect Woman has a plan

(and a Folsom Street lash)

I’m much to drunk to sing,

But your glance could be the thing

You better look away 

or we will both be sorry

Sing that hash song baby,

Drink that down down dooooown.

Sing that hash song baby,

Drink that down down dooooown.

(Repeat until you're drunk.)