“These fools think that Bay to Blackout is over,” Boner Marrow muttered.

“They think they are safe for another year. Safe from drunken debauchery and costumed idiocy,” Sweaty Betty replied.

“It’s going to take more than a regular Monday to end B2B,” Cuming Mutha proclaimed. “Team Tutu – roll out!”

The Tutu force crossed Stanyan once, and then twice, and then three times for good measure, delaying commuters and causing nonspecific chaos. THUNDERPISS leapt over logs in the Panhandle, followed closely by One and Done and Gobble My Ass.

“What’s going on?” cried confused civilians, who were all beginning to have flashbacks of Ken Dolls and Dune Worms.

Sheepy, Just Cam, and Just Chinmay charged past them, perfectly fluffed tulle bouncing in unison as a silent answer.

“B2B never sleeps!” Cockamole proclaimed as they pounded down Haight Street.

“Walkers, diverge!” commanded On All Fours, taking Cockulus Oculus and Backwash to divide the troops in a pincher movement. Fucker led the charge down Cole Street, where Do Her Well’s birthday revelry led to a spontaneous skirmish on Carl. The crowds were overwhelmed and began to join in the singing, so Fuck Buddy and Five Angry Inches turned towards the police station to ride the conquering wave.

Just Doesn’t Get It and Gloryhole ran onto the track at Kezar, blazing past the PR runners with PBR spirit.

“Quick, to 9^th! If we capture a train or two, we will spread our message of libation throughout the city!” declared Touchmaster 69. Slug and Backhoe joined ranks with her, and Sir Menage a Lot swiftly followed.

But it was chaos that took charge, as their path forward did not go on the right side of the tracks, or the wrong side of the tracks, but backtracked into the park.

“We’re losing steam!” worried Jack The Ripper, as the Tutus began to blend in to the civilians enjoying an evening stroll.

“I’ll bring in the sea forces!” Blowfish shouted, as the setting sun at their backs guided Tears of Semen and Famous Anus towards the Beer Van.

“Was your effort successful?” challenged Muff Daddy as the troops sought out refreshment.

“The casualties were many,” Just Get It Over With reported. “But B2B lives on!”

“We’ve made at least one virgin sacrifice on this day,” Scarf promised.

“Our work only starts here,” Rhythm Method said solemnly to Look Who’s Coming to Dinner. “It feels like only yesterday that I thought you could only run around in costumes once a year.”

“Everyone has to do their part,” Red Hot Vagina added. “My pooch Upskirt here didn’t seem like a hashing hound… until he discovered the joys of a nice long tutu, that is.”

“It’s a big sacrifice,” Mary Tyler Whore told them. “But Princess Jizzmine, CPA, and I are all proud to go to the ends of SF to bring our message to the masses.”

“It doesn’t stop here. We’re sending Bloqueen on a missionary position in Sweden,” Tuna told them all.

“And we’ll return to other positions around the world,” added Slutty Charms, nodding to Space Invader and The Perfect Woman. “Not ruling out missionary, of course.”

“Got to keep your options open,” Wash This Asshole tipped his tutu, wishing them all good night.