SFH3 Run #1929.0069: It's Better Down Where It's Wetter
: 05/17/2019
: Mersea, 699 Avenue of the Palms
: Wrinklepecker and Squeal 4 Me
: Cockamole

Night fell on Pleasure Island, and the creatures of the sea - disguised as hashers - descended upon the salty shores. Despite Hand Pump and Cosmic Pussy’s best efforts to hide the keg, the hash soon began to feel the effects of a certain golden nectar.


“Nice pajamas,” Sex-O Fence told Do Her Well.

“Thanks; I originally brought them for Crapper Napper,” Do Her Well replied, “but she decided that AVP and Sex Doll Serial Killer would probably put them to better use.”


“Wow, this is a bigger pack than usual,” observed Wrinklepecker.

“Yes,” said Can’t Eat Pussy, “I guess it’s some sort of event.”

“Damn right, it’s Bay to Blackout! I like this event so much that I rego’d twice!” Jigglytits piped up.


“Actually, there’s another event happening here tonight,” Squeal for Me told the crowd. “I’m very excited to present Boner Malfunction and Cum Sail Away tonight in a hash wedding!”

“Wait what?!” said Cum Sail Away. “That can’t be right … I can’t have a wedding without a dress.”

“We’ve got you,” said Twerxes Like Xerxes and Just Get It Over With, assisting Cum Sail Away into her flowing gown.
“I can’t have a wedding without a proper feast,” said Cum Sail Away.

“Oh, we’re set there,” said LipsDick, “very exotic cuisine at this wedding.”

“Salmon vodka from Alaska?” asked Jennatalia.

“Chocolates from Switzerland?” offered Cum Test Dummy.

“No, I was thinking we would serve shark fin tonight” explained LipsDick, at which point Ska Skank Redemption and Uncle Bad Touch abruptly excused themselves.

“I see …” said Cum Sail Away thoughtfully. “Well, what about music?”

“That could be an issue,” said Gondolarrhea, “the speaker just blew its load. I think the only solution to nurse it back to health is to use 69.” Right on cue, Minor 69er began singing at the top of her lungs.

“Um, this is a bit awkward,” tried Cum Sail Away, “but I don’t think I can get married because I’m not a virgin?”

“That’s ok, we brought one of those,” said Pussy Passport, pushing Just Terrence to the front of the crowd.


“Wow, you guys really thought of everything.” Cum Sail Away slowly started to smile. “You know what? Let’s do it! Let’s have this hash wedding!” Her eyes began to brim with tears. “This is even better than I could have imagined … this may just be the hashiest night of my life!”