Mine eyes hath seen Gloryhole setting trail before the hash;
5 Angry Inches runs on, broken, and John Handcock has a rash;
Eat My Pussy showed up late and pushed Fucker, running past;
And Hand Pump goes marching on.
 
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs! Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!  The hares go marching on.
 
I’ve seen Douchicorn on a tandem and Dick Tracy’s Pussy in the brush
Fuck Buddy has a trail planned and Wee Wee is in a rush;
Tonya Hardon is ashamed of how many Cheetos that we crushed;
And Uniballer is marching on.
 
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs! Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!  The hares go marching on.
 
Gobble My Ass ran through briars seeing that there was no reprieve;
Backwash has had a birthday and Roman Showers had to leave;
Motor Mount just showed up for the beer, and Tuna—crimes she’d weave,
On All Fours is marching on.
 
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs! Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!  The hares go marching on.
 
Just Doesn’t Get It rode a hobby horse and Shaft snapped a pic,
Cool Handjob Luke got a bit lost on trail but Cosmo solved it quick
Just Get It Over With waited all night in hopes she’d see a dick,
Cuming Mutha goes marching on.
 
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs! Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!  The hares go marching on.
 
Sandy Syphilis showed up to our hash and so did Bound Ungagged
Chicken Bone Her raised a toast and for hash cash Muff Daddy nagged,
Littly Sissy Pants got a new job but his passport may be flagged,
One and Done goes marching on.
 
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs! Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!  The hares go marching on.
 
Circlejerk found a backcheck while Three Fingers found a false,
Bierectional found some old bones; Cum Test Dummy calmed her pulse,
Dickweed sang with Blackout while the virgins were repulsed,
And Humpy Slowcum goes marching on.
 
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs! Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!
Gloryhole, Gloryhole and Crabs!  The hares go marching on.
 
Oh, the prelube wasn’t posted so Sleazy went and chose,
The start was slightly different, kept Screaming Orgasm on her toes,
And thrashing through the shiggy, Fix Her Up Her held her nose,
But the hash goes marching on!