SFH3 # 1620 was the 2nd Anal Rosh Hash On-On was an even bigger success than last time, led again by Broken Boner and the Jew Crew, with 7 manichevitz checks, mini shofars being given out to the pack to use instead of whistles, and the wildest orgy this side of Gomorrah at the On On On. Oh wait, that’s what would have happened if Who’s Your Daddy hasn’t given My Little Porno my hash day, turns out he was upset that I didn’t want a post-coital snuggle. Here’s what “actually” happened……
School was back in session at Jefferson Park for SFH3# 1620. The hares, Cockodile, our newest transplant from LAH3 (even though she sounds like an illegitimate aussie) and My Little Porno, put on their 10th grade best (i.e. sluttiest) for the Anal School Girl Hash. Many hashers and harriets dressed to arouse (I mean impress). Some notable school girls were Weiner I Am, The Perfect Woman, and (other people I can’t remember because I was drunk and everyone changed into warmer clothes too quicky). Just Get It Over With dressed in her mini-tartan skirt, looked so convincing that she almost got arrested for underage drinking while brown bagging a 40 oz wine cooler, thankfully Can’t Rush Anal was there and distracted the authorities with a lengthy, detailed explanation of how she got her name.
The marks were few and far between, but the pack made their way through Japantown, down My Little Porno’s secret garden, to the Lyon Street Steps where booze filled Capri-Sun and lollipops were waiting to quench the r*nners thirst and give them something to suck on. On the way to the beer check at Lafayette Square Park, Jizzard highjacked the trail and lead some of the pack to his house for an impromptu beer check, or so he said. Putting the BASTARD into Front Running Bastard, Jizzard grabbed himself a beer and ran off, leaving his actual pre-teen catholic school girl Sandy Bottom to ward off thirsty and lecherous hashers. The child protective services investigation is still pending at this time. Just Kelly happened to be r*nning on her own when she saw how much fun the pack was having and decided to join in, hopefully she wasn’t scared off by Sir Menage-A-Lot and will grace us with her bountiful presence again.
An overly eager Dick Simmons could hardly wait to get his hands on Backside Banger’s thick, delicious, hand pumped “nectar” that he tripped and fell on the keg at Lafayette Square. Many other keg related crimes were committed as countless wankers over pumped the keg so vigorously it looked like they were auditioning the hand job skills for Squeal For Me. GM Oh Shit! finally returned from visiting BRH3 on The Playa in time to dole out spankings to all the naughty school children. Weiner I Am, Ska Skank Redemption, Broken Boner, and named-at-his-first-hash Turkey Boner, were all caught toking up under a tree and were left red assed for it. I’m Drunk got an ata-boy down down for her heroic effort several days before the hash, where he tackled and sat on a thief until the none strip showing Po Po showed up.
Having kicked 2 kegs and absorbed all the Vitamin J there was, the hash went on on on to Smugglers Cove, where My Little Porno was able to live out her fantasy of being a school girl boarded by pirates.