“Fuck’er, I hardly even know her,” said Just Doesn’t Get It. “No, you twit, your co-hare is Fucker,” said Who’s Your Daddy. SFH3 Hash #1621 was off to a bumpy start even before the chalk talk was given. The pack gathered at a relatively warm and dry Glen Park and was abuzz to hear stories of adventure and sexual conquest from T-Ball and Lost In Foreskin who had been away from the hash for far too long. The real reason such a big pack had gathered in San Francisco’s equivalent of the dark side of the moon is because Hand Pump had just returned from the beer olympics in Ireland where he won 5 gold medals in Keg Chucking, The Three Yard Chug, The Millenium Club, Growler Juggling, and a 5th event which our magnificent Beermeister can not recall. As the pack took off, Just Doesn’t Get It stayed behind to sweep, having very little faith in his trail being followable. Hold My Bitch and Just Tomasz had planned for a S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L and brought a special flour sniffing puppy with them.
As the pack was off on their misadventures, Broken Boner, Do More Stupid and 48 Dicks Later deciding it was silly to r*n all the way up a hill just to r*n back down a different hill, got beer and found the beer check without any marks at all (if you ask me, this is the cooler, harder, and sexier way to do trail). Hand Pump hosted the beer check in his garage, in which a giant plastic boob bong was found and promptly named Das Boob by Just Tim. Wee Wee Wee All The Way Home was on hand to run circle, so the pack walked, all little bit drunker now, back to Glen Park.
Crabs interrupted circle to announce that he had published his long awaiting semi-autobiographical coming-of-age story about a boy who accidentally kills a gorilla while trying to lose his virginity and carries its leg around to always remember that day. Or something like that. Check it out Super Booty, The Field Goal Kicker with the Secret Gorilla Leg available at http://amzn.to/1gMFSqL. Cummin Mutha not wanting to be left out, announced that his e-book now game with a free kangaroo steak. Just Christine shared a touching tale about how a penis touched the back of her throat, not only causing her to regurgitate her dinner, but also lead to her being named Roman Shower (she’s true blue, well green really, from all the throwing up). Cherry Poppins showed up fashionably late on what looked like Batman’s bicycle. My Uncle’s Girlfriend seeing the bike gotincredibly excited because she thought George Clooney was around in his Batman suit, and we all know about her fetish for plastic nipples. Having named one hasher and made fun of half a dozen more, circle adjurned so that everyone could go home and buy Crabs’s new book (at this url http://amzn.to/1gMFSqL). Having gone to http://amzn.to/1gMFSqL and purchased the book, thristy hashers made their way to Glen Park Tavern to discuss the fact that Ska-Skank Redemption had kept her shirt on for too many consecutive hashs, but at least they had a new book (which they bought here http://amzn.to/1gMFSqL).