Cheer up, Cuming Mutha. You know what Muff Daddy says...
Some trails in life are bad,
Checks can really make you mad.
Stale Cheetos just make you swear and curse.
When Infinite Butthole treks through thistle,
Don't grumble, Dickweed, whistle!
And Fuck Buddy will help solve trail for the rest,

Always look on the bright side of the hash!
Always look on the bright side of the hash!
If Circle Jerk's trail seems rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's all the things you can make with garbanzo beans,
Raspukin treks through dumps,
Tuna calls you silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle -- cause you can't sing!

Always look on the bright side of the hash
On on!
Always look on the bright side of the hash
Deadbeat is quite absurd,
Hand Pump's got the final word.
One and Done will face circle with a bow!
Brag of Sperm Donor's sin -- give Bierectional a grin,
Enjoy it, it's the last down down by now!

So run until you're all out of breath!
Cry out the hash shibboleth!
The night's a piece of shit,
Makes Just Jim want to spit.
Trail's a farce and we can't joke, it's true,

Give 2 Hot 2 Trot a show,
Dick Tracy's Pussy's guzzling as we go.
Just remember that the last drink goes on you!

And always look on the bright side of the hash

Always look on the bright side of the hash

When you're feeling quite awful,

Don't pout, take a falafel!
Make sure Five Angry Inches remembers to chew.

And if you've not feeling very swift

Just Get It Over With!

If she can drink that down down, so can you!

And always look on the bright side of the hash

Always look on the bright side of the hash

If Gloryhole can't find the way

And you look to Cockamole

You'll know there is some hope after all,

When even Vagina Dentata

Tries a garbanzo bean frittata,

You know there's something cooked for you!

And always look on the bright side of the hash

Always look on the bright side of the hash

When Sleazy looks at Muppet Dick

And starts feeling a tad sick

Due to overly copious amounts of some chickpea,

Banana won't say a word

If Orianal Express acts absurd

Cause he's grown to used to shit from PPE!

Come on Backwash, cheer up

Always look on the bright side of the hash

Always look on the bright side of the hash

Worse things happen in running clubs you know

Always look on the bright side of the hash

I mean, what have Just Katie and Just Tyler got to lose?
You know, you come from Stern Grove
You're going back to Stern Grove
What have you lost? Your dignity! (plus or minus a few virgins)

Always look on the bright side of the hash!