Cheer up, Cuming Mutha. You know what Muff Daddy says...
Some trails in life are bad,
Checks can really make you mad.
Stale Cheetos just make you swear and curse.
When Infinite Butthole treks through thistle,
Don't grumble, Dickweed, whistle!
And Fuck Buddy will help solve trail for the rest,

Always look on the bright side of the hash!
Always look on the bright side of the hash!
If Circle Jerk's trail seems rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's all the things you can make with garbanzo beans,
Raspukin treks through dumps,
Tuna calls you silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle -- cause you can't sing!

Always look on the bright side of the hash
On on!
Always look on the bright side of the hash
Deadbeat is quite absurd,
Hand Pump's got the final word.
One and Done will face circle with a bow!
Brag of Sperm Donor's sin -- give Bierectional a grin,
Enjoy it, it's the last down down by now!

So run until you're all out of breath!
Cry out the hash shibboleth!
The night's a piece of shit,
Makes Just Jim want to spit.
Trail's a farce and we can't joke, it's true,

Give 2 Hot 2 Trot a show,
Dick Tracy's Pussy's guzzling as we go.
Just remember that the last drink goes on you!

And always look on the bright side of the hash
Always look on the bright side of the hash
When you're feeling quite awful,
Don't pout, take a falafel!
Make sure Five Angry Inches remembers to chew.
And if you've not feeling very swift
Just Get It Over With!
If she can drink that down down, so can you!

And always look on the bright side of the hash
Always look on the bright side of the hash
If Gloryhole can't find the way
And you look to Cockamole
You'll know there is some hope after all,
When even Vagina Dentata
Tries a garbanzo bean frittata,
You know there's something cooked for you! 

And always look on the bright side of the hash
Always look on the bright side of the hash
When Sleazy looks at Muppet Dick
And starts feeling a tad sick
Due to overly copious amounts of some chickpea,
Banana won't say a word
If Orianal Express acts absurd
Cause he's grown to used to shit from PPE!

Come on Backwash, cheer up
Always look on the bright side of the hash
Always look on the bright side of the hash
Worse things happen in running clubs you know
Always look on the bright side of the hash

I mean, what have Just Katie and Just Tyler got to lose?
You know, you come from Stern Grove
You're going back to Stern Grove
What have you lost? Your dignity! (plus or minus a few virgins)

Always look on the bright side of the hash!