Run #1553 How Many Cups is a Fingerful!
Chickenboner kicked off June for the Gypsies with a trail from Olympia Way and Clarendon, the Midtown Terrace Playground and home of what Who’s Your Daddy has declared the ne plus ultra of public restrooms in the city! As you can well imagine the combo of Chickenboner as hare AND an accolade like that brought out the pack. Chickless Boner showed up and he, eagle eye that he is, spotted a curiously familiar gent strolling the street. Well, astonishing as it seems that gent turned out to be Enter The Gerbil who was last at a Gypsies’ trail in Nov. 2009! Truth be told ETG had kind of been hoping no one would recognize him and now felt forced to make small talk with the pack that was pounding piss from the keg of Lagunitas IPA, and even that was, as the Duke of Wellington said about Waterloo, a near run thing. The tap was malfunctioning and even Hand Pump couldn’t make it well, but we are talking about the Gypsies so Tongueless whipped a second pump out of the black bag and the pounding resumed. By now the pack had enlarged enough to take control of the sidewalk and the little park started to empty of civilians, how odd! Our hare scrawled a few marks on the sidewalk and gave the chalktalk reins to T, when will they ever learn! Closet Twitcher stepped to the podium and in his most professorial tones preached a sermon from the Male Missal that moved many to tears and others to ask for a handy wipe since they know that 5150 is always prepared! T *an through the marks, and with their souls taken care of the pack was sent off in search of our hare. The Lost Patrol ambled off with Adopt A Pussy assuming leadership since he has a Google Maps like sense of where he’s going. Trail led down Clarendon and turned into the woods but the sight of Tonya Hard On not appearing to know where she was convinced the LP to stay on pavement and try another spot. AAP’s sense paid off and the pack headed into the woods at the Laguna Honda Trailhead. Trail kept climbing and Backside Banger was wondering why he hadn’t taken a roadie since sobriety was starting to get painful. At least there were a number of trail markers and an occasional “You Are Here” map including the one so covered by graffiti that it was unreadable. Trail climbed to Betty Sutro Meadow and eventually let the whiners and whingers to a parking lot at Laguna Honda Hospital. Sadly, for this bunch it just crossed the lot and headed back into the woods and uphill to boot! The wankers did get to see a number of water towers and no trespassing signs. Eventually, this band of turkeys gobbled their way out to Panorama Dr. Of course, the real pack was off doing the eagle trail that WYD found himself setting in the name of CB. Wanting to be sure that the hardmen got the trail they wanted he took the pack onto the trails of Twin Peaks. They experienced the joys of the Laguna Honda Trail System. Cuming Mutha loved the romp around Christmas Tree Point and Sutro Tower. The LP just headed back to the start and the keg. Speaking of the keg it was tapped and the Cloak Of Invisibility draped over it when the REAL pack started arriving. Manhole was brimming with pride at having survived trail but the Sacred Bucket filled with River Madness took care of that. Udder Moron was banging his head on the fence for being moron enough to do the trail. 5 Angry Inches was joyful that Tonya Hard On didn’t have the $100 she’d bet with T so the denouement was postponed, but T never forgets; Fits In just wishes he would. Daffy Fuck wandered off to see the fabled Public Restroom and found it locked, that will teach her to hold her water! Wash This Asshole offered her a chance to use said water, but DF begged off. Jack The Ripper and Dr. Kimble enjoyed watching the stragglers arrive whining about the trail WYD had led them over. King Of Bed Bugs was still not drinking and his pain was giving some in the pack pleasure. Twinkle Dick kindly offered to drink KBB’s share and tell him about his hangover, what a guy! The pack called for at least a down-down for our hare. T was too lazy to get the Sword Of Power so he just held up his finger and pronounced it the Finger Of Power! From not doing any down-downs T got on a roll and called forth a number of miscreants. When Just Fuck Off was called up to explain where she’d been last week, she announced a new tattoo had kept her away since she couldn’t get it sweaty. The pack was calling for a visual so JFO stripped down to her bra and flashed a lovely lavender flower on her arm. That got Pastel Gazelle a lot sweatier than the trail had. It was growler time and yet the keg lived on. The Bucket however died. Eventually those in the Fire Station and Church across the street were able to relax as the Gypsies dissolved into the night! Cheers.