Miss Delivery has us hashing,
Past EMP, John Hand Cock dashing,
By Humpy Slowcum, Muppet Dick passing,
Even Squeeze Box laughs at the sight
of half-mind sport.

For Juneteenth the hash is finding,
Trail fooling Fucker, Gloryhole's minding,
Hills that have MUG's feet a-grinding,
And Cockagami can but call On On!
To bring the hounds up short.

And when Hoseblower finds his first beer,
Five Angry Inches sees restrooms near,
Jack The Ripper brings up the rear,
With Hand Pump's van glowing
As the safest port.

Princess Jizzmine takes a respite,
Chicken Bone Her won't express it,
One and Done won't eat unless it's,
Pocky sticks and cracker jacks
In the orange food assort.

And the pack walks in as sun is setting,
Wash This Asshole isn't fretting,
Dick Ass Mother Fucker finds he is letting,
The hash conviviality
Make his worries short.

At start Just Spencer escapes the danger,
Of Muff Daddy, money exchanger,
And the pack welcomes Go Go Rectum Ranger,
All Tease No Please and
Festering Beanie Baby to the court.

At the tale of Just Andrew's terror
Crabs thinks the name could be fairer,
But Backhoe's strength of will is scarier
When the down down's drunk,
Wrong Waymo's the report.

As the circle winds to an ending,
Gingervitis and Tuna, beer a-tending,
Masterbaster finds a trail is pending,
Cockamole, Fuck Buddy and Backwash
Know the night has grown quite short.

But in all the evening's vast directions,
Hoseblower and Famous Anus find intersections
In Joe Pubic Hare's emphatic correction,
The pack's complaint-- but one!
There was no goddamn Malort.