12 Delicious Tuna Recipes, From Casual to Elegant

1. Sushi

You may think that maguro nigiri is simple to make, but your marks must be as precise as an arrow and true as trail. Plan your approach carefully, as if your bare feet are surrounded by snapping Crabs. Take Three Fingers worth to start, and a gentle Hand Pump will see you through. Best enjoyed outside of the DMV.

2. Tartare

Like sushi, you may end up with a Famous Anus if you aren't careful in your Tuna selection for this tasty dish. Take One and Done lemon and a dash of Cockamole with your finely diced fish, and you are sure to have a SeXXX-Ray worthy meal.

3. Seared Tuna

Now we need to light up our Medium Sized Balls of Fire to cook up this next treat. You might forage for some herbs (Dickweed is in season) in Buena Vista, but be careful you don't end up in a Circle Jerk there. Let the flame wash over for just two shakes of a Cheese Turd, and you'll be all set.

4. Tuna Ceviche

Still not scared of a Rocky Bowel Movement? Ceviche done right is a crowd pleaser even when the crowd is Fucker.

5. Tuna Casserole

A lot can go in a casserole, and everyone will find something that they want. You might be like Wash This Asshole, and go for fewer ingredients, aim for the middle road like Just Scottie, or go all out like Tonya Hardon. Show up a little late like Mary Tyler Whore? No worries. You'd have to take the Wrong Waymo for tuna casserole to do you dirty.

6. Tuna Melt

Not much can make Tuna melt, but Sleazy Like Sunday Whoring and Dildo Baggins' pooches can often do the trick.

7. Poached Tuna with Cumquats

Do Her Well eyed the trail speculatively, and exchanged glances with Vagina Dentata and Gobble My Ass. John Handcock prepared a pen and paper. Perhaps part of this trail would live again... one day.

8. Grilled Tuna

"Can we promote that thing in the woods?" Fuck Buddy asked.

"When's circle?" Uptight Butt Good wanted to know.

"Where's the receipt?" Muff Daddy demanded.

"Do you know who would make a good GM?" asked Humpy.

"I don't know!" Tuna took off to the on after.

9. Tuna Salad

Ah, where were we? A nice refreshing tuna salad is sure to make anyone happy. Don't make this weird.

10. Tuna Croquettes

Picture a nice evening at a potluck, Shaft is pouring a glass of wine while Dick Simmons crowds in with Peekabooby and Cockulus Oculus for a selfie. On All Fours and Cuming Mutha sweep in with some piping hot tuna croquettes, and everyone leans in to grab a bite. Delicious.

11. Canned Tuna

Five Angry Inches opens the fridge. A new place, an incompletely stocked kitchen. There is just one thing to get his hungry stomach through the night.

12. Tuna on Top

Although there are tons of options, it turns out that Tuna is pretty great anytime, anywhere.